Leucrotta

----------------------------------- The Exchange III - Round 1: "Out of Nowhere" ----------------------------------- "Okay, what? This still sounds like a load of bullshit." Tucker puts his coffee cup down on the table with what I deem to be unnecessary roughness. He's not exactly taking this well. I don't blame him. "So you're telling me," he continues, "that you're some kind of psychic prophet? What, that you just watch people all the time, in your mind? And you write about it? Why the hell would you do that? Who does that?" Maybe next time I decide to weave an elaborate lie, I shouldn't base it off the random Supernatural episode I saw

--BASICS-- Name: Raridan James Tucker. You can't call him Raridan and you can't call him James. Tucker or Tuck is just fine. Age: 24 or so Sex: Male Race: Tucker is a werewolf of the hereditary variety. In other words, he can't make anyone else a werewolf unless he's their daddy. He goes fully human to fully wolf or vice versa (no inbetween), and he can do this whenever he pleases. He's a tanned white guy as a human, and a black wolf as a... wolf. --APPEARANCE-- Height: About 6" even in human form, which translates to 3'1" or so in wolf form (at the shoulders) Weight: Somewhere around 175-180 lbs (both forms) Build: Clearly built for speed i

--BASICS-- Name: Anastasia (Ana) Tigner, AKA Leu Age: 25 Sex: Female Race: A White Human People --APPEARANCE-- Height: 5'6" Weight: A little above average (whoops) Build: Basically the opposite of that Sir Mix-A-Lot song. Larger in the middle, got no back. Skin: On the paler side, even for a white lady Hair: Very dark red-brown, it's about mid-back in length and wavy. No bangs. Eyes: Hazel, closer to brown. The left one's a little darker. Other defining features: Has some small scars but mostly in places you won't see. No tattoos, and no piercings (not even ears). Left-handed, but only for fine motor tasks; uses right hand to grab things (it

This is the critique for the matches in which one opponent forfeit. If you had an opponent who submitted an entry, you'll want the other critique. Match #1. DeadGP (https://www.deviantart.com/deadgp) vs. Electricut (https://www.deviantart.com/electricut) (forfeit) From mippins: DeadGP - Snap *Okay, I like the opening for two reasons. One, it sets a nice scene and the writing on a sentence-level is nice and it's just a really good start. Lots of action, strong word choice, uses different senses, it's good. I also like it because you have your usual formula of starting things, "Character was doing this thing." You do sort of use that in this too, and when I first glanced at your piece I was like GRAH NO G

These are the critiques for the matches in which BOTH opponents submitted an entry. If your opponent did not submit, then you'll want the other critique. Match #5: Jerro893 (https://www.deviantart.com/jerro893) vs. xmayflowerx (https://www.deviantart.com/xmayflowerx) From Mippins: Jerro893 - El Vidrio Se Levanto *I'm on the fence about the title. Personally, I'm not a fan of foreign titles because I don't speak Spanish so I feel like I'm left out of the loop. Yeah, I could google it or something, and it also establishes that this is a story set in a Spanish-speaking region, so maybe it works. Your call, I guess. Just know that it can be off-putting to some readers. *Cot? Like, a cottage? Cot means bed as

PLEASE SEE PART ONE AND READ THE INTRODUCTORY COMMENTS AND DISCLAIMER "The strange case of Tammy Jones" hardluck87 (https://www.deviantart.com/hardluck87) Leucrotta: Oh man, another story rife with humor. Yes, good. "Grenade wielding coyotes", I love it. Your setup was pretty strong, the idea of a mysterious string of murders and whatnot. The only problem is that I almost felt like the story itself got started way too late. You spent a lot of time on background information, and then the only thing that actually "happens" in the course of the story is that Tammy gets visited by a gruesome monster. It almost seemed more like this was a story concept or outline. I'm going to ma

Okay so, here it is at last, the critique for the auditions of Delirium-SST. Before we go into individual stories though, I have some things to say to the group at large. Just things I noticed in multiple stories that I feel the need to point out to everyone. Not all of you are guilty of them, so they don't apply to everyone, but just keep 'em in mind, alright? Firstly, titles! I know it's easier to just say "audition" or "round one" and that's not out of bounds for a lot of writing or comic tournaments. But it is a little hard to get invested in a story titled "Delirium Audition". Just sayin'. Second: Just because you can, doesn't mean you